Next Time

I’m human.  I say things about people when they aren’t present.  I try to keep this to a minimum, but every now and again you need a friend to listen and let you vent.  Recently I found myself in a very uncomfortable place where I was with someone who was not just venting, but bashing someone.  Having been in this situation before I tried not to engage too much or say something I could regret.

Last time this happened I told myself, “Next time I will say something” or “Next time I will just leave the room”.  It is so uncomfortable and I find myself losing sleep and feeling guilty over the words being shared.  I find myself saying things I wouldn’t or agreeing with something just to keep things moving along and get it over with.  It’s really sad.  Sad that it happens, and more sad that I lose my voice in this scenario.

So when it happened again I felt terrible that I didn’t speak up.  I have a voice and I am strong and why can’t I say the words to someone to make the madness end?  I was going to call the person today and discuss this, but I decided that it is best said in the moment and since I participated I am not really any better. I guess we will have to wait and see how strong I will be Next time.